I’m not talking about mothers who are terminally ill or really suffering. That is different.
No, this is more of a guide of what to do if the mom in your household is quite under the weather (maybe it’s the flu). Why do I need to write a guide like this? Because I’ve noticed that moms do so much of the caring every day, and are so capable at life in general, that when they are sick the rest of the household thinks the mom can just carry on with life and do everything they usually do, just a little bit slower. NOT TRUE.
We mothers need caring for too. But often, we get the least care. Because who does the caring? Especially if you no longer have a mom in your life, when you get sick, you also get a little bit sad. Because there’s no mom checking up on you, or bringing you homemade rusks, or asking if you’ve been to the doctor or got the right meds. It’s just you, feeling goddamn awful, and sad.
So here’s what to do if the mom in your household is sick – a handy guide:
- Ask them what they need, but also show initiative. Their brains are probably muddled, so they aren’t going to be the best at knowing what they need. So if they need to see a doctor then book an appointment and bundle them into the car. Or, if it’s not that serious, head to the pharmacy and pick up some meds: Med-Lemon, vitamin C, immune boosters – buy them things to give their health a kickstart.
- Buy them food and drink. They can’t go to the shops, and the cupboard is probably bare (they haven’t been able to do the grocery shopping have they?). If it’s their tummies that are the problem, they probably won’t want anything more than dry toast but if it’s the flu then get them soup, get them juice, get them comfort food. Being sick is also boring and food and drink are ways to cheer them up.
- Get them entertainment. Get them some fresh magazines or borrow some books, recommend some movies on Netflix…anything to pass the time until they are well again.
- Peaceful vibes only please. No shrieking or loud noises. Entertain the kids in another room, draw the curtains, put on some soft music, keep things calm. And let them sleep – whether it’s naps or at night. Don’t expect them to get up for crying kids at midnight, or the alarm at 3am, or to find that missing shoe before school. Others are capable of doing these things – plus, you can’t heal in a circus.
- Pay attention – show some care. While they want quiet, they also want people to actually pay them attention. Prop up their pillows, fetch them a blanket, buy them some flowers. Ask them how they are, talk to them, check up on them. Don’t just leave them alone for hours at a time. They don’t just want to feel needed, they want to feel loved, like they are a priority (for once).
This may all sound obvious but it’s clearly not, because I’ve spoken to so many mothers and they say the same thing happens each time they’re sick – they’re expected to just carry on with life (but just suffer a bit more). Just like parenting and lifestyle blogger Hayley is feeling in this pic too (thankfully she said I could use her pic because she’s WAY more photogenic than I am while sick:).
We all feel this way. We’re left to fend for themselves. In fact, the most care I’ve ever received when I was a sick mom was from other (extremely busy) mothers themselves. But we all need to pull our weight – because households function best when everyone takes a turn to care. The above applies to anyone who’s feeling under the weather of course, I’m just writing as a sick mom who misses her own mom even more when she’s not well.
So here’s to being healthy (and surely this flu can’t last much longer?!)